Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The Cleanse - The Grand Finale

I just finished my last drink of the Dr. Oz Three Day Detoxification Cleanse and I have to say... I could totally demolish an entire cake right now. 

    As a child, this scene in Matilda always made me hungry


The past three days of liquid haven't been easy, but they also haven't been as terrible as I initially imagined. I certainly can't speak for Boyfriend on this; he's been hot mess central for days. 

I shamed Dr. Oz again and didn't finish my lunch shake, but I did devour the snack shake, which was a repeat of breakfast. I needed to refuel for my Barre and Pilates Fitness class, which I coerced two of my coworkers to take with me in the event of my collapse. I did advise them to crumble my corpse into the corner and resume their workouts; however, I impressed myself by finishing the hour class and still being able to walk to my car at the end. 

It was my first Barre and Pilates class and I probably shouldn't have started on the final day of a cleanse, but people low on food intake don't always make the best decisions. I assumed that barre would be similar to my beloved Yoga Booty Ballet; however, I was sadly mistaken. Don't get me wrong, Gillian and Teigh make me work, but Pat at Amerifit showed no mercy and didn't once compliment my booty. 

I began with energy and zeal. I ended with sweat and aches. My leg lifts got lower and lower as the clock ticked minute-by-minute. My thighs couldn't fathom the idea of holding a ball and squeezing said ball, all while lifting my leg and bringing it across my body. Graceful, I was not. I was thankful for the teacher-mandated chair on my left for support, both physical and emotional.

I came home and made the final shakes for both Boyfriend and me. I made extra for Boyfriend, to avoid his passing out from near starvation. He has expressed the sincere excitement of a child on Christmas Eve for tomorrow morning's egg and oatmeal feast.

As of this morning, Boyfriend lost two pounds and I lost five. I'm proud of both of us for sticking it out and completing the cleanse (although I didn't always follow protocol and skipped a few drinks). Would I recommend Dr. Oz's Three Day Detoxification Cleanse? Sure, for a jump start on healthy living, not as a way to lose quick weight. Make sure you have a dedicated partner and the ability to look cookie dough in the face and say "no means no... Whore."


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