Friday, December 26, 2014

All I Want For Christmas Is A Napkin

It has been a little less than a year since Boyfriend and I decided that we should start documenting our Pittsburgh culinary adventures through this blog. Throughout 2014, we have sampled, among other food items, many a burger with high hopes and often disappointing endings.  

As 2014 is quickly coming to an end, Boyfriend and I are still on the prowl for the best burger in town.  Tonight, this hunt led us to the newly opened BRGR in the South Hills.  With this recent addition, there are now three BRGR locations, with the original in East Liberty.  There is also a BRGR food truck that roams the streets seeking those in need of mobile meat.  

Several years ago, I dined at the East Liberty BRGR with my dear friend Stemstar and recalled interesting burger combinations, hard milkshakes and "beertails." Tonight, Boyfriend and I approached the restaurant with eager hearts and rumbling bellies. 

The new BRGR is conveniently located within the Galleria of Mount Lebanon, for which I was thankful when we were given an hour and 15 minute wait time. I wasn't surprised, considering this was not only a Friday evening, but also the Friday following Christmas.  We walked around the mall (stopping for me to drool all over Le Creuset cookware at Williams-Sonoma) and our lengthy wait period seemed to fly by quickly.  

Once we received our table readiness notification call, Boyfriend and I were ushered to a small table for two in the noisy restaurant.  Patrons seemed to be having a good time and enjoying their meals, so I was excited to order.  Our server approached the table while Boyfriend and I scoured the draft list.  We ordered water (with lemon for Boyfriend) and two beers - Southern Tier Pumpking for Boyfriend and Full Pint Brewing's Festivus for me.  I don't remember our server's name, but I do not know if that is because she never told us or because I had not heard it over the noise, but she was friendly enough and started out well.  

Soon, she came back over to let us know that my choice, Festivus, was no more.  She suggested a popular beer, Evil Genius Purple Monkey, which is a chocolate peanut butter stout.  I figured that the chances of my liking this beer enough to order a full glass were slim, but I was curious, so our server brought a sample.  My intuition was correct (peanut butter beer is not my thing) and because our server was unable to describe any other beer on the list, I settled for a hard root beer.  

With the the taste of Jif still lingering, I realized that we didn't yet have our water.  When our server came back with my drink, we placed our Build Your Own Burger orders and I reminded her of the water.  She left and I watched her check in with several other tables before meandering to the bar for our water.  When she finally brought it over, Boyfriend's was without lemon, as specifically requested. It was a small snafu, but annoying nonetheless. 

After a rather short wait, another server approached our table with a tray, threw the burger baskets on the table and turned without another word.  Prompt service, but not very curteous, I'm afraid.  Jerk waitress aside, everything looked good and I was ready to dive in. 

I am a burger-cutter. Always have been and always will be; however, it is difficult to cut a burger when you don't have silverware.  We looked for our server, who had vanished since bringing the water, but to no avail.  Finally after a few minutes, Boyfriend got up, went to an empty table, and took the napkin-wrapped silverware for our use without any sign of our server.  

    
I ordered a medium-cooked angus beef burger on a brioche bun with white cheddar cheese, topped with bacon and sliced avocado.  For my side, I ordered Cajun tots, which came a heaping pile.  Had I known what a huge quantity of tots was waiting for me, I would have shared a side with Boyfriend. 


The tots were sprinkled with a Cajun spice blend, which I liked a lot.  Boyfriend thought that they were too salty, but "too much salt" is a complaint that rarely leaves my mouth.  I picked up half of my burger with anticipation, bit into it, and thought "ehhh." The burger was fine.  It was certainly nothing to write home about, but nothing to throw on the floor and then flip the table in blind rage about either.  It was just kind of there.  The bacon was average and the bun was decent. I left about a quarter of the burger, but I did put up a good fight against the tots.  The meat was more medium well than medium, but not enough that I cared to send it back.  

Boyfriend's burger was dry aged bison meat on brioche topped with smoked cheddar, mushrooms and bacon, with a side of Parmesan fries. 


The fries were not very exciting.  They were below average fries that were supposed to be fancy with shaved Parmesan and herbs, but even cheese couldn't make this side remarkable.  

Boyfriend experienced some difficulty in consuming his burger, as everytime that he tried to take a bite, the meat slid around on the bun and threatened to jump ship.  In all of our burger endeavors, I think it is safe to say that BRGR offered the greasiest burgers.  Mine was not as bad as Boyfriend's, but he had some slime  issues.  

A few bites into his sandwich and Boyfriend suddenly realized that his burger was missing a very important ingredient... Bacon.  Again, he looked for our server, who had vanished and whom I can only assume was hiding in a closet somewhere eating Boyfriend's lemons and bacon.  He kept eating and by the time she did return, it was pointless to request it.  We let her know of the missing meat and requested that the additional bacon charge be taken from our check.  

We finished our meals without much enthusiasm and without any rushed desire to return.  Tots were good, burger was whatever, and service was flakey, although I do have concerns about the number of missing items throughout our meal.  Seems like BRGR may have a lemon, bacon, napkin, silverware, and server thief on staff.  

Our experience at the Galleria BRGR can be summed up in my initial first-bite reaction.  Ehhh.  Boyfriend and I will continue in 2015 on our quest for Pittsburgh's best burger and to replace the "ehhh" with "mmmmm."